I just came back from the airport where I dropped him to take the flight to Paris. Like every second week. I just cannot get used to him going away. Every time, it is an emotional shock. I am going home, I eat everything I find in the fridge without actually feeling any tastes. I feel electrocuted for a few days after he is left. I am living in a mess until usually Wednesday, when I feel the force to wash the dishes from the weekend or actually meeting somebody.
It's been 1 year and a half that we are living in a distance relationship. With that, I am officially breaking the unofficial record of perfumer students who left their home to Grasse but decided not to give up their relationships.
Most of the relationships bond before Grasse Institute of Perfumery cannot handle Grasse and perfumery. Some of the students are getting drunk from the new way of existence, completed consciously with the fifth sense, with sensibility for beauty freshly opened up. Some of them are becoming too conscious about their partner's scent. Some just cannot handle the stress of facing so much difficulties in perfumery and living in France. Some couples are broken due to long distances. And of course, every year in GIP there are some more or less secret relationships created between students of the same year, but inter-promotion coupling is also very common.
I am just not sure I can deal with this emotional roller-coaster for a long time. He comes every 15 jours ( 15 days in French, which for them means 2 weeks = 14 days ), he is here for less than 48 hours and than he is off again for 2 weeks. And for one and a half year now, I get the Post Boyfriend Blues, every time he is gone. We kiss goodbye and hug for a short time, which are usually long minutes for those waiting in their car behind us in the 'kiss and fly' lane at Terminal 2, than I am fighting with my tears during 35 mins from the Airport to my place in the car, praying here and than between two tear attacks to be able to blow my nose and drive in the same time.
It is so bad, when he goes away that I found myself wanting him not to come at all. It is so bad when goes away that I found myself not being happy when he arrives, knowing than in 2 days it's about to hurt again. It hurts so bad when he goes away, that I find myself thinking of leaving my perfumer job here and go back to Paris and maybe get back to HR again...
I miss his neck smelling like deep amber and vanilla. I miss his reassuring voice. I miss his smile. I miss his brilliant ideas. I miss him gesticulating and using too much his hand when talking. I miss the scent of his shoulder when it gets slightly burned on the sun. I miss his eyes reflecting my feelings deeply from his heart.
I miss his philosopher hands, smelling like dry tobacco, caressing my face, my eyes, my lips, my nose.
